March 28, 2005
How to move up a caste
So a really stupid plagiarist sends an IM to Nate completely out of the blue, wanting him to write a paper on the caste system in India. Nate, being a fan of both the Hindu way of life and academic integrity, obliges. Swift, severe punishment will surely follow for the plagiarist, and with any luck, Kushner will have made $75.
Now, however, I'm left to wonder: Will Nate move up a caste in his next life for doing Ms. Pahl a favor, or down for being gloriously cruel? I suppose that depends on whether he cashes the check.
Posted by Chris Coleman at 01:12 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
March 01, 2005
Jacko!
There's either very little or an infinite amount of humor in this, I can't decide. It came to me the other day, and I just needed to do something with it, so I took a little mental health break from my normal evening insanity to whip this up with InDesign and Photoshop. Enjoy.
Posted by Chris Coleman at 07:50 PM | Comments (0)
November 06, 2004
So you wanna be president?
I get the feeling that after this election, no senator of any party can run for president anytime soon. Bush'c campaign banked on the average idiot's ignorance of how legislative process works, and won.
Ludicrous Example:
A bill is proposed that would help turn around and fund under-performing public schools. Everybody loves it. Senator Smith loves it.
A rider is attached to provide funding for daycare for the young children of working parents, to be provided by NAMBLA.
Scenario 1: Senator Smith knows those schools need the money, so he votes for it.
Scenario 2: Senator Smith doesn't want child molesters near children, so he votes against it.
Outcome 1: Opponents say that "Senator Smith voted to make sure that your children are taught by child molesters! He hates America!"
Outcome 2: Opponents say "Senator Smith voted against education funding! He hates America!"
Outcome 3: Senator Smith knows this is a loaded issue and begrudgingly abstains. Opponents say "Senator Smith didn't even bother to show up to vote for education funding," or "Senator Smith didn't show up to vote against entrusting children to boy-hungry pedophiles!"
2008 should be fun.
Posted by Chris Coleman at 05:19 AM | Comments (0)
September 30, 2004
Tips for lowering your expectations
Things to remember for the presidential debate:
1. John Kerry is the most dangerous man in the world to face off against in a debate. He is not to be underestimated.
2. George W. Bush constantly poops his pants. He's a total pants-shitter. If he can get through the debate without making a stinky, he automatically wins.
May the best spin win.
Posted by Chris Coleman at 08:58 PM | Comments (0)
September 12, 2004
A better tomorrow
I'm back, yet again. This time, with a new URL, because the entire domain system is run by mo-rons. Why can't we just remember IP addresses, people? Honestly, it would make life better.
So anyway, I don't have a heckuva lot to write about right now, and I've made many promises that this will not become a soapbox for talking about exactly how lame/boring/etc. things are. I promise that you will never have to read about how unemployment sucks.
You'll never have to read inane ramblings of a housewife in her mid-twenties to early thirties and how she's really in love with her cats and not the husband she married just because she was an insecure child with a constant need for attachment and now she's incredibly unhappy, even though she never comes right out and says it, but you can tell anyway.
Unless, of course, I'm belittling the aforementioned housewife. Also, run-on sentences will be kept to a minimum. Starting now. Fragments too. Starting now.
That is all.
Posted by Chris Coleman at 11:41 PM | Comments (0)